You call it madness
by NothingToulouse
Summary: Random crackfic. The author apologises for lack of time, inspiration and patience with the help of Rusty and Danny.


**... but I call it love.**

This is a short piece of nonsense, insanity and randomness I wrote in order to apologise to Otherhawk and InSilva, who have been the most creative and brilliant minds imaginable while I was busy doing stuff I didn't really want to do.

I was lacking time, inspiration and patience to read everything, to review and to update my stories.

Thus, I decided to put the blame on someone else. And no, it's not Linus.

.

* * *

**You call it madness...**

"Think we went a bit too far this time?"

"You mean with the girl…"

"… and the stuff…"

"… back at the place. Yeah."

"She looked…"

"Uh-huh. Lost some sleep over that last night."

"I thought that was because of the missing Hershey bars."

"The night before, then."

* * *

Stealth was a major factor in the "return to owner"-mission they had decided on. Enter, leave everything and a few flowers, run away. Because it was one thing to lie and steal, but another thing to take _this_ from someone and then disappear.

But as soon as they found the chocolate, things went askew. One wrong move, one false step, one second too long. And then flashlights lit the space and the alarm went off.

_What the…?_

_I thought you liked almonds._

_You didn't take the…_

… _wouldn't want to have you lose any more sleep._

"How very lovely." Loud and female.

_Someone's here, Danny._

_Got your back._

Their eyes met for the fraction of a second and they smiled.

And then, there was the voice again: "No need to rely on that, guys. I can hear every word you think."

The smiles disappeared.

_Rusty, someone's invading our personal space._

"Easier than I thought it would be. I certainly didn't expect you to fall for the chocolate, I figured I would need the kryptonite."

A shadow appeared and then a figure entered the room, hands on her hips, pouting.

"Rusty Ryan and Danny Ocean. Stealing. On my property."

_Rus, that's the girl._

_And that's her chocolate you're holding, Danny._

The Girl raised her eyebrows and pointed at the flowers. "Right. So what's that?"

"Uh. You know what they say about words and all? That that's what they make flowers for?"

_Who's _they_, Danny?_

_Helpful, Rus. Really helpful._

Danny closed his eyes and leaned against the wall while Rusty tilted his head to one side. "So I guess you want your stuff back. Right. You see, that's why we're here and…"

"Oh, I know."

"Great. Because we noticed you looked really devastated and…"

"Thanks." She didn't let her eyes leave his. "So, I suppose you know what you did to me?"

Danny spoke up again and said something about liars and passion and thieves. Rusty smiled.

"… to cut a long story short – we only stole…"

"You stole my time. You took my inspiration. You robbed me of my patience." The Girl looked at them and for the first time they could see the dark circles under her eyes. "When did you decide pearls and cash didn't do the job anymore?"

"Listen, we are truly sorry. We had no idea…"

_Not gonna work._

_Then go for it, golden boy._

The Girl grinned and didn't say a word.

Rusty frowned but cleared his throat. "We understand that the past few days – weeks – have not been easy for you. And we can see that you can make good use of the things we took…"

_Like, for example, invade our thoughts._

"… so how about we leave you with the double amount of inspiration we took?!" Rusty dared to smile once more.

_Patience might be an idea, too._

_Because that's your prime virtue._

* * *

"I still can't believe we got out of that."

"She didn't seem all that dangerous."

"She could hear us, Rus!"

"Right."

"And did you see the notes next to where we left the stuff? There was something about Belize and some sketches of a vault and a map of Berlin."

Danny leaned back and watched Rusty pour himself another glass of wine.

"Probably harmless. What _I_ can't believe is that you took the chocolate anyway..."

.

* * *

Yeah. Otherhawk owns the "kryptonite" idea. And InSilva owns the italic-formatting.

And I hope this wasn't too strange.


End file.
